Observation: the people of Israel are once again grumbling or "murmuring" against Moses, this time because the land is dry and they can't find good water. God tells Moses to "command" water to come from the nearest rock. Moses goes before the people and asks doubtfully, "Shall we bring water from this rock?" Then, instead of speaking to the rock as God commanded, he strikes the rock--twice--and water flows from there. The congregation is saved, but because of Moses' very public moment of doubt and disobedience, God tells him he will not live to lead the people into the Promised Land.
Application: The rabbis over the years have determined that this takes place thirty eight years into the forty years of wandering in the wilderness. The finish line is so, so close. And yet just at the end, in a moment of doubt and frustration, Moses stumbles. I have so much empathy for him. He's done everything right, he's obeyed God at every turn, and right here at the end he has one moment of weakness. it's heartbreaking.
If even Moses has moments of doubt--moments when he doesn't listen as well as he should, moments of insecurity and anger, where he strikes the rock instead of speaking to it, where he lashes out at the people with sarcasm instead of simply drawing attention to what God will do--maybe it's alright if I have them too. Messing up publicly is par for the course for Christian leaders. It's humiliating when we're under stress and we don't react as we should, but we're human beings and sometimes it happens. Thankfully, the same grace we always point out to others is also available to us. Even Moses, who died in the wilderness, ends up at Jesus' side when he's transfigured on the mountain. May we trust that the same can happen for us.
Prayer: God, sometimes I get stressed, and I doubt. My words and actions fall short of your standard for a disciple and leader of disciples. Have mercy. Like Moses' story, may my story, however imperfect, show forth your grace. Amen.
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