Observation: God makes an appearance in Jacob's dream, just like God did when Jacob was a young man. God's message: don't be afraid to go into Egypt. "I will make of you a great nation there." I never noticed this promise to Jacob before, and I have to say I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, God chooses not to mention to Jacob that this "great nation", hundreds of thousands of Jacob's descendants, will become so plentiful as slaves. Their life will be extremely hard. On the other hand, if God were to mention this to Jacob, would he refuse to go? Would they continue to desperately scrape out a living in Canaan, in the midst of famine? Would Israel's family remain divided?
Application: As a person of faith, I believe God is active in my life. I have had moments like Jacob's dream, where I have a strong sense that god is calling me in a certain direction. What we talk about less often, especially if we've spent a long time talking up how we feel God has called us to a certain thing, is when it goes badly wrong. When it doesn't go at all the way we picture. When there is deep pain and frustration and regret. When we invest a lot of emotional, spiritual and sometimes financial capital into something we're excited about, and it doesn't go how we picture, sometimes we're tempted to not talk about it. Or if we do, there is no talk of "calling".
"God called me to go into business with a friend, and it failed within six months and now we don't talk anymore."
"God called me to move to this new city for this new job, and then I was laid off."
"God called me to join this church, but once I got involved I discovered people had a toxic way of interacting and eventually I couldn't take it anymore, so I stopped going."
Those statements seem strange, don't they? And why? Because we assume that God would only call us into situations that are successful by our predetermined definition of success. Because God wants us to be 'winners,' and if we're not it must be something wrong with us. Maybe we heard God wrong; maybe we totally missed the boat; maybe we didn't commit hard enough.
It never occurs to us that God might need us to learn something from the way we are feeling: to find God in the crosses of our lives. To be prepared with compassion and support for those who come after us.
I don't believe God makes bad things happen in our lives. I really don't. and IT IS NOT GOD'S WILL for us to endure bullying or abuse in any form. Our world is messed up and full of messed-up people who do messed-up things. But I do believe God can use our messed up situations and create new life we never could have imagined. So if you feel God's call to do something, and it all goes wrong, it's not your fault. God can use that part of your story.
Prayer: God, help me see your role in my story, especially the painful parts. Amen.
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