John 13:1-7 For the Chronic Over-Explainers

John 13:1-7 (NRSV)

​¹Now before the festival of the Passover, Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart from this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end. ²The devil had already put it into the heart of Judas son of Simon Iscariot to betray him. And during supper ³Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he had come from God and was going to God, ⁴got up from the table, took off his outer robe, and tied a towel around himself. ⁵Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples' feet and to wipe them with the towel that was tied around him. ⁶He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, "Lord, are you going to wash my feet?" ⁷Jesus answered, "You do not know now what I am doing, but later you will understand."

Observation: Jesus performs the act of a slave, washing his disciples' feet. When Peter questions him about it, Jesus doesn't explain himself. He says "later you will understand."

Application: There's a profound prayer attributed to St. Francis of Assisi, which says in part, "grant that I may not so much seek to be understood as to understand." That's a hard one for me to pray and mean. You see, I am a chronic over-explainer. If you have received a long, carefully written email from me, you know what I mean...and I'm sorry about that. I'm trying to get better.

To be a Christian, and especially to be a Christian who leads and disciples other Christians, you have to occasionally do things people around you don't understand. Worse yet, things they won't understand and won't like. Even worse than that, things some will commit themselves rather dramatically to misunderstanding, and even convincing others to misunderstand as well. Jesus dealt with it. He knew Peter would eventually deal with it too. And what he did was profound: he let them not understand. At least for now. He did the loving thing, and he let his followers scratch their heads for a while. Mind you, Jesus does go on to explain his footwashing, but it would be a stretch to say they "get it" after that. And that's okay.

If you are a Christian leader (and let me be clear, if you are any kind of leader who is Christian--teacher, administrator, pastor, elected official, manager, parent--YOU are a Christian leader), you need to hear this: you are not responsible for making sure everyone understands and accepts everything you say and do. You are definitely responsible, within yourself, to examine what you say and do in light of your faith. But your students, your constituents, your customers and clients, your kids, do not need that full explanation each and every time. And as a dad of four, I can tell you that a full, reasoned explanation isn't what they want. They want to know you care for them. And you can't demonstrate that with just one post or email. That takes consistent compassionate actions over time. You don't have to make them understand. You have to keep doing the loving thing, and asking God for guidance. That's it.

Prayer: God, save me from the need to be understood. Help me seek instead to understand. Amen.