Two Halves of Life

Observation: Because I didn't get my daily Bible text in my email inbox, I'm trying something different. Today I'm reflecting on a devotion from the blog of Father Richard Rohr. Today's post was written by a guest writer, the Jungian psychologist James Hollis. Hollis writes that there are two distinct halves of our lives. In the first half we seek security, the ability to support ourselves and develop our own identity apart from our parents. The second half of life is more about discovering who we are on a spiritual level, apart from career, ambitions, or material gain. In the first half of life we ask, "how can I establish myself?" In the second we ask "what does my life mean?"

Application: I'd say I'm in the thick of the "first half" of life. I've never been obsessed with material gain (if I were I'd have chosen the wrong line of work!) but I do find myself very preoccupied with success, whether it's one of the rare times when my definition of success matches up with my reality, or it's the vast majority of the time when it doesn't. Either way, my identity as "Pastor", "Dad", or "Husband", is often center stage in my mind. Too often it's hard for the three of them to share the spotlight. And I find my sense of contentment is wrapped up in how well each of those roles is going, and what I can be doing, should be doing, should have already done yesterday, to make them go better.

But I have done ministry with a lot of folks who have been through all that and come out on the other side. Slowly but surely, our career responsibilities, our day to day parenting responsibilities, and if we live long enough, even our role as a spouse, will reach their conclusion. And we will be asking God, "who am I now, apart from these roles I've played?"

My hope is that when and if that time comes (and in some sense it almost certainly will), I will have begun the conversation with God, and learned about the soul God made, apart from anyone or anything else.

Prayer: God, I need to remember I am more than my obligations. Help me find time alone with you, to begin the lifelong process of individuation. Amen.