Observation: In response to a question from the Christian community in Corinth, Paul writes that as a command "from the Lord", divorce is to be discouraged, and as a word of personal advice, "not from the Lord," that even if a Christian is married to a non-believer, they should stay together. I should note here that Paul's individual call from God was to stay unmarried and celibate all his days.
Application: Sigh. Putting together a sermon about Jesus' words on divorce this past Sunday was hard. And here comes Paul's advice right on its heels, and this is hard to read too. It's like a one-two punch. I know so many people who have been through divorce, and I know it's not because they messed up, or didn't try hard to work through issues they may have had. Yet there is still so much guilt and shame when it comes to divorce and Biblical texts like 1 Corinthians 7 aren't helping matters. I'm not sure what to do with it sometimes.
Of course, marriage is a lifelong commitment, and we should go into it intending that that be the case. God wants us to be able to support and love one another all of our days, and never have to wonder if the relationship we have today will be there tomorrow. That's the ideal. And I should say based on my reading of scripture, I don't believe that ideal lifelong commitment of love and support should only be open to heterosexual couples. God doesn't want any of us to be constantly doubting ourselves or our romantic partners, never knowing if and when we may end up alone.
But something I said on Sunday applies here too: I do not believe Paul or Jesus would have envisioned a world where people whose marriages end are ostracized from society, and especially not from the Christian community. God does not want a world where people have to choose to either endure abuse, misery, or households devoid of love or compassion, or to be completely isolated from their church, friends and family. Some situations in life are no-win. No one wakes up joyful and excited on the day their marriage comes to an end, but no one should ever face that day any less confident of God's love, support, forgiveness, and grace than they were before.
To paraphrase Pastor Nadia Bolz-Weber, God doesn't love the "ideal" version of you, because that person doesn't exist. God loves the "real" you, with your story, your past, your present, your future.
Prayer: God, I pray for anyone reading this today who may read texts like this and feel deep pain from their past. I pray you would love them and walk beside them as they heal. I pray you would remind them that nothing in all creation can separate them from your love. And I pray you would use your church not as a gavel of judgment, but as a living, breathing reminder of that promise. Amen.
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