Job 38:12-20 "Surely You Know..."

Observation: After losing everything, Job has been arguing back and forth with his friends for hours about whether he did something to "deserve" his grief: something that would have angered God. Though his friends insist, based on what they've been taught, that he must have done something to deserve his fate, Job in turn insists he did not. God then answers Job "out of the whirlwind" with this ironic poem. It basically says, "If you know so much about my ways, tell me where light comes from. Where were you when the earth's foundation was laid? Have you been to the depths of the sea?" In short, God says, "Who are you to tell me how to be God?"

Application: In all honesty, the book of Job for me is more about how NOT to give compassionate care to friends than anything else. With a friend struggling with a tough diagnosis, PLEASE don't take the lead of Job's friends and say something like, "well, everything happens for a reason." Even if you do believe that--which is a whole other post--now is not the time to say it. And if a person just lost their home or was laid off from a job, now is NOT the time to flip open Job 38 and say, "Well, who are we to say God was wrong to do this to you? Were we there at the beginning of time?" 

 Please. Don't. Just stop. Let it be.

In an adult education class once, I plotted out a chart, with the X axis being "Things that are helpful" and the Y axis being "Things that are true." Not every "comforting" statement is true, and obviously not every true statement is comforting. Not surprisingly, a whole lot of things that people say all the time to grieving friends are neither. 

In my experience, a book like Job is not as helpful for someone with fresh wounds of grief, but more for someone trying to sit with them. In fact, the best thing Job's friends do is in the beginning of the book, simply sitting with him, on the ground, for seven days. Just being with him is better than blurting out the first thing we saw on a Hallmark card once. 

Sitting with a grieving friend is not the time to get up and play defense for our faith or our theology. God loves your friend dearly, and can handle it if they are mad or even losing faith in the moment. God put you there for them, to be God's presence in their pain, not to be their Sunday School teacher. So before we open our mouths, let's take God's words into our own hearts: "Have you comprehended the expanse of the earth? Declare, if you know all this." 

If not, maybe better to simply say, 

"I'm so sorry. I'm here, and I care for you." 

Prayer: O Lord, when I start thinking I know your ways and your mind, shut my mouth. Amen.