Okay. Do I believe that Jesus of Nazareth is God? Yes. Absolutely. Descended from David according to the flesh, shown to be Son of God by resurrection from the dead, just like it says in Romans 1.
Do I believe the historical Jesus claimed he was divine, literally declared "The Father and I are one," and spent most of his earthly ministry arguing with fellow Jews about whether or not he was God? I don't know. I wasn't there. It could be. But for my own part, I'm going to say likely not.
Mind you, I will not think any less of any Christian for believing and affirming that Jesus openly said he was divine during his earthly ministry. You may be right. It's just that the other three Gospels do not attest this. And Jesus would have had a very hard time getting twelve working-class, First-commandment-following Jews to devote their lives to him, not to mention not be stoned in every Jewish village he visited, with that as his opening line.
But the Resurrection changed things. Big time. Much of John's Gospel, I believe, reflects what its writers know is coming: that this man will rise from the dead. It reflects the Spirit of the Risen Christ, as he continued to show up in communities later in the first century--communities who were, in fact, taking a lot of abuse for holding to the truth, that Jesus and his Father are one. It is a future Jesus we sometimes see in the Gospels: a Risen Jesus, reaching back into the story from a later time. The light of Easter shines back into earlier narratives, and forward into our lives today.
Jesus, thank you for being who you are: the Risen son of God. Help me to follow you to the cross and empty tomb, and see for myself who you are. Amen.